“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

The last month (has it only been a month?) has been full of uncertainties and the weakening and destruction of institutions that I used to think were a given because they’d always been a part of my life. When my husband and I decided to bring a baby into the world, it was after Biden had been elected, and Trump had been rejected. It was a decision of hope. Since Trump was re-elected, there have been several nights where I’ve rocked my toddler to sleep and then softly apologized to him for the cruelty of the world I brought him into.

I wish circumstances could be different for him, and for myself, and for all of the other people who are currently at risk of losing their safety, their security, their autonomy, and their freedom. None of us are able to choose the times or the events we will be born into or grow up in. However, we do get to decide what we will do with that time.

During his first week in office, I spiraled with fear and anxiety and the sense of loss of control. But I decided that I wouldn’t let it change me. I would continue to be kind and compassionate.

Then, as things kept escalating, I decided I was going to let it change me after all. I would continue to be kind and compassionate as always, but I’m choosing to devote more of my energy to volunteering, more of my money to donating, more of my spending to small and ethical businesses, and more of my anger to protecting the vulnerable.

I don’t say any of this to draw attention to what I’m doing, but rather to share the positive changes it’s already making. When I see something enraging in the news, stories of the constitution being trampled and resources being taking away from the vulnerable, I savor the rage for a moment, and I pick an initiative. Maybe it’s making a donation to a candidate who wants to fight the fight. Maybe it’s writing up a post that I hope will be encouraging to someone. Maybe it’s crocheting a gift for a friend or loved one to bring a little joy. Maybe it’s signing up for a shift at the food pantry. Maybe I uninstall an app that’s affiliated with a problematic company. The rage I felt gets funneled into a new direction and turns into positive energy, and hopefully some little positive ripples.

I’m fully aware of my own privilege, and of the privilege of my family. This administration will undoubtedly hurt as, as it hurts everyone, but because we are white, because we are middle class, because we have savings, because my husband and I are straight and cis, we will be insulated from many of the effects, at least for now. So rather than sinking into my privilege, I’m going to use it as a shield while I fight back.

Human progress is a funny thing. Over great spans of time, it seems to march forward, with discoveries, technology, and philosophy built on the work of previous generations. However, in short timespans, it progresses more like the tide, with ebbs and flows, stops and starts, two steps forward and one step back. When humans get secure, we tend to forget why we worked so hard for the things in our life that are working. Then we let things backslide until shit hits the fan. Then we have to scurry to try to rebuild what we have before. This is normal for humanity, but still awful for those experiencing it.

Many times in my life, I have been so thankful to live in the age I live in. I’m grateful to have lived in a time when my thyroid cancer could be easily treated, and the only major change to my life is that I have to take a pill every morning. I’m grateful that due to modern healthcare, my son and I are healthy, even though my pregnancy became life-threatening, and I had to deliver early. I’m grateful that I am able to be taken seriously as a woman in research, as many women in previous generations did not have that experience.

Whether I was lucky or unlucky to have been born when I was, this is the time I was given, and all I have to decide is what to do with the time that was given me.

What are you going to do?