“Nice people made the best Nazis. My mom grew up next to them. They got along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and focused on happier things than “politics.” They were lovely people who turned their heads as their neighbors were dragged away. You know who weren’t nice people? Resisters.”

― Naomi Shulman

I’m afraid things are getting serious. The dismantling of government is happening quickly, our allies are being treated with hostility and threats, and the countries that seek to harm us are being welcomed as allies. This was demonstrated especially egregiously in the oval office ambush of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

I’ve always been conflict-averse. Not to say I never got into the middle of conflict, I certainly did, but I always tried to make peace and apologize. I just wanted the conflict to be over. There are times when that’s a reasonable strategy, such as when the conflict is not that big of a deal, when the friendship is just more important, or when the cost to your wallet or your emotional well-being is greater than the cost of the conflict. This is not one of those times.

I’m not suggesting seeking out conflict, because you don’t have to. The conflict is being brought to all of us. It is coming in the form of loss of jobs, loss of services, loss of legal healthcare options for things such as reproductive healthcare (including the right not to reproduce) and medical transitions. It’s coming in the form of destroying our safety by making FAA communications unreliable and insecure, thereby making flight dangerous. According to Project 2025, a blueprint the administration is closely following, it’s coming in the form of martial law within the first year.

It’s time to stop being nice. That doesn’t mean not being kind. In fact, the more kindness we put out into the world, the better. What it means is to stop making things easy for the administration. Stop obeying in advance. Stop letting lies and cruelty go unchecked for the sake of “keeping the peace,” because that’s the surest way to lose our peace in the long run.

What does “Not making nice” look like?

For everyone this is going to look different, depending on your geographical location, your job, your privilege, your sense of security, and the responsibilities in your life. Some things in your life will present opportunities for making waves, and you should absolutely take them if you can do so safely. We need people to be willing to take risks to keep the movement afloat. And if you can’t make waves on your own, jump into the waves that are already rolling.

All of the things listed below are good and meaningful things to do. If you do all of them, that’s awesome! If you can’t do all of them but still do some of them, that’s great, too! The worst thing you can do is support the movement that’s trying to destroy our democracy, and complacency is support for those in power.

Protests

For some people, this means joining protests. The protests in DC, NYC, and other major cities with lots of visibility are especially powerful, but the protests in smaller cities and towns are important too. There are a lot of harmful people out there trying to claim that protests won’t change anything because the narcissists running the show won’t care. While it’s true they won’t care, that doesn’t make protesting any less powerful.

Protesting has a few key effects that make it important:

• Creates visibility for your cause, allowing other who agree with you to feel supported and letting sensible congresspeople know they are on the right track when they oppose the administration
• Generates solidarity which can make it easier for those feeling alone or standing on the sidelines
• Demonstrates opposition so people who haven’t been paying attention have a harder time ignoring what’s happening
• Can disrupt those you oppose, whether it’s blocking the harmful actions they are trying to take, or just disrupting them in general
• Can give courage to conservative voters who are on the fence to really start questioning
• Lets the leaders on both sides know there is opposition to what’s happening, and may even stir fear that they will not continue to be safe if they continue to hurt the American people

My favorite protest in recent history has been the protest that disrupted the VP’s skiing vacation (one month into his new job, how many people get to take a vacation one month into a new job). I love that so many people came together in solidarity to disrupt his plans. He’s taking away everyone’s safety and security. That is not a move that should be free of consequences.

Don’t Obey in Advance, and Don’t Let Them Get Away With It

Our federal workers, who have always made our country work on a fundamental level, have been under attack for the past month and a half. It has absolutely cruel and ruthless. Jobs and budgets have been slashed, and fear and intimidation have been used to abuse the people who just want to do their job and help the people they serve.

One of the most inspiring movements I’ve seen is the banding together of federal workers to share resources and support each other. When the infamous Fork in the Road e-mail from OPM came out, federal employees were shocked and scared. But a quiet but mighty movement started encouraging employees not to obey in advance. A very small percentage of federal workers tried to take the offer and were generally screwed over, a repeat of the situation when Musk sent the same e-mail out at Twitter. Everyone else decided to stay and continue to do the jobs they believed in.

DOGE (pronounced dodgy) has continued to hack and slash away at the vital departments and services that keep our country running, but it wasn’t the easy job he thought it was going to be. The DOJ is also seeing a record number of lawsuits from federal employees who were unlawfully fired, and the white house is forced to find ways to deal with it. Of course, their favorite way to deal with it is by ignoring court orders, so we shall see what comes of this. But refusal to obey in advance is certainly making things more complicated for the regime.

I also applaud the people who have changed their spending habits in response to political acts. Target took the first federal announcement of ending DEI initiatives, and decided to hop on the disastrous trend, and their stock has been dropping ever since as informed shoppers decided to stop supporting them. Meanwhile, Costco announced its support for DEI initiatives and has experienced growth in the market with lots of new members signing up.

Not obeying in advance can be as simple as supporting organizations and initiatives that are on the government’s chopping block or refusing to stop doing something just because the POTUS posts in Truth Social that you need to stop. Refusing to obey in advance also includes things like protesting, speaking out, calling out their actions, and joining resistance organizations. There is legitimate fear that things like that will cause us to be targeted in the future, and I understand that fear. But if there is real resistance, there is a much smaller chance that the administrations goals will come to pass. There is also strength in numbers. The more people who are resisting, the harder it will be to target anyone.

Speak out Against Hate, Discrimination, and Lies

Everyone has someone, or several someones, in their life who loves to share what they read on Truth Social, Twitter, or Facebook, or saw on Fox News without ever bothering to try to understand the greater context of the headline or checking to see if there is any truth in the claims. Maybe it’s a bigoted uncle or a “good ole boy” boss or a conspiracy theorist “girlboss” friend from high school. Maybe it’s a generally sweet and lovely person who has been overtaken by fear and never learned to question what they read. Regardless, I’ve always found it hard to listen to claims that twist or ignore the truth, but I’m getting absolutely fed up with the untrue narratives that have been allowed to thrive in the media.

Not all situations allow you to call people out when what they are saying is untrue. And many people won’t listen, I’m afraid. However, you should still question them or call them out when you can, especially in person. This is very unlikely to change the mind of the person speaking. I have no illusions about that. However, it does a few other things:

• Signals that you do not support their claims, and removes the tacit endorsement of silence. In some cases, this may create some peace for you, as they may not want to spout off if you’re not going to nod along with them. Although in some cases, it will just cause them to seek you out to antagonize you. However, that seems to be less common.
• Signals to others listening that there is opposition to their claims, which may allow you to find allies or help them to find a voice of opposition
• If their speech is directly targeting a vulnerable person, such as a racial, gender, or sexual minority, you signal your defense of their group
• If you have insights or facts that back up your opposition to their statement, it’s possible that you might get through to them or someone else who’s listening and give them something to think about

This is such a hard one, especially for conflict-averse people like me. It’s especially hard if you love the people who disagree with and want to keep them in your life. I want to emphasize that this can be done with kindness. It can be a simple, “Are you sure? Because the articles I’ve been reading on the topic say exactly the opposite.” Or sharing your own personal experiences or the experiences of family, friends, and others who have been directly impacted by the “news” they are trying to share. Of course, other times, a loud rebuke is the only way to be heard. I don’t have a guide for assessing the situation. I’ve looked for one and haven’t found it yet. If anyone has one, I’d love for you to send it to me or put it in the comments.

Ultimately, no single instance of speaking out is likely to fundamentally change anyone’s mind on what’s going on. However, if enough of us are doing it, some people will take a moment to reflect and question the narrative.

Contact your Government

Probably the most important calls you can make are to your federal representatives. Download the 5 Calls app to make this process really, really easy. It provides contact information for your representatives based on your zip code and provides bullet point scripts for high-priority topics at the federal level. You can also write letters and e-mails, but my understanding is that they’ve always paid more attention to phone calls. You can also do both.

And don’t be afraid to get real and raw when you make those phone calls. If you’ve been hurt by actions taken by the government, tell them specifically how. And if any of your representatives are doing the right thing, call to tell them that you appreciate it and want them to keep doing it. Help them to put names and stories behind the harm being caused.

Local government is important too. Your state and municipal government offices determine how money is allocated locally, and that can help shape the welfare of its citizens. Local laws, funds, and organizations can help protect constituents from the effects of the federal government’s meltdown, or they can make their constituents more vulnerable. It’s important to be vocal if you want to protect your community.

The White House and other federal organizations also collect comments on a number of initiatives, and they can also receive phone calls and letters. I’m less confident that this will actively change the direction the POTUS and DOGE take, but at least it will be on record that it’s opposed.

Get Involved in All the Elections

Voting should be a no-brainer but based on the fact that about 40% of eligible voters sat the extremely important 2024 presidential election out, I feel it needs to be said.

And not just voting either. Put out signs for the candidates you support. One of the pieces of “evidence” that I’ve heard republicans use to support the narrative that the 2020 election was stolen was the lack of Biden signs. Many of us, including myself, were just not that excited about Biden, although I think he did an okay job. I didn’t see the importance of signs back then, but I do now, and I put a Harris sign on my lawn last fall. Signs signal to other supporters that they’re not alone. They also help people get excited about a candidate, including people who might be undecided.

Local elections are important too. As above, they help shape your local community’s health and welfare. They can also set the standards for what is acceptable in your area.

For any election, there are so many ways to get involved. In addition to being an election judge, you can also volunteer for campaigns. I started doing so recently, and it’s surprisingly easy to sign up to phone bank, send out postcards, and other actions to help candidates you believe in. Many of them are things you can do without leaving your home. Others require you to get out and about, but that can also be a great way to meet people in your community.

Final Thoughts

These are unprecedented times for our nation, although we’re following a blueprint that’s been tried in Italy, Germany, and Russia in recent times with differing levels of “success.” The histories of those nations’ fascist takeovers have warned me that speaking out like this may make me vulnerable (not that I think this blog is likely to get a lot of attention). However, history also shows that movements can grow, and that fascist governments tend to have a short but horrific lifespan. There was a part of me that questioned whether I should protect myself by not making this blog.

But then my anger at the harm and unfairness this presidency is wreaking took over.

I’m not going to obey in advance.

And as The Chicks said in their absolutely spot on song, “I’m not ready to make nice.”